Sunday, August 8, 2010

D-day

My name is Pamela.
I am 41 years old.
I have been married to a wonderful man for 3 years.
I am a mom. I have a 13 year old boy and a 2 year old girl.
I have a dog, a cat, and a gold fish.
I am a social worker, so you know I have spent my life taking care of others.
I am a sister; I have 2 brothers.
I am an aunt.
I am a scrapbooker.
My favorite color is pink.
I love Bon Jovi!
And I have cancer.

Every June we go on vacation with my husbands family. On day 3 of our vacation, I woke up with a sore throat and a fever blister on a day we were hiking 6.2 miles. My sore throat went away (so did the fever blister) but my throat stayed swollen. Not causing me any pain, it was easy to ignore.

I went to a chiropractor three weeks later and he noticed my swollen throat. A girlfriend was the first to tell me how deformed I was and that I needed to go to the doctor. The last week of June I saw my primary doctor. I had an x-ray, CT and blood work. She put me on 2000mg of antibiotics a day for 10 days.

I fully expected the antiobiotics to work. I was convinced that if I had cancer I would be losing weight, feeling sick, not sleeping and I had none of those symptoms. In fact, I had no pain at all. Even my blood test came back showing no elevations at all. My CT showed a significantly swollen lymph node on the right side of my neck.

Well, the antibotics did not work.  My doctor sent me to an ENT who immediately scheduled me for a surgical biopsy.  As I went into the biopsy, I was positive the ENT would find an abscess in my neck and be able to drain it. But what he found was something he described as suspcious.

Three days later my husband and I sat in his office having my stitches removed and were told that I have Classic Hodgkins Lymphoma. Cancer.

Being told you have cancer is like finding out your spouse is cheating on you. Everyone imagines what it might be like, and what you will do.  But only those who have been through it really know.  I thought I would be hysterical (you know, nonstop crying, can't get out of bed, ect). Not to say I have not cried, I have done my share and will continue to cry some, but for the most part I have work to do and it has to be done.

Now, I know I am suppose to take some type of solice in the fact that as far as Cancers go, this one is a "good one" to get. It is treatable, maybe some would even say curable. But on my D-day, all I can think about is: I am 41 years old, I have 2 kids, a wonderful husband, and an unfinished life. So in the few days since my D-day, I have hugged my kids a little harder, cried a little easier, and said a few more prayers. Please Lord, I am gonna need your help to beat this one.

2 comments:

  1. Okay, WOW....my name is Sherri Bentz, i sent you a friend request, i was just poking around on "Pinetrest" i love it. i saw something on one of yours and started to follow it ;) it originally came from, Rachel McClimon, some one from some one from some one, you get the idea lol. So any way i was just about to sign off the puter and get my crafty projects done, beings my hubby is TDY to Berlin and will be home tonight, yaaaa. but i, for some reason was reading the headings on your site "it's my life, doing it my way each and every day, and then "Home" "about me" ., you get it right. any ways my eyes went across *Living with Cancer* and of course *Bon Jovi Forever* LMAO. i really couldn't believe what i was reading, so now hear i am writing you and email, because i have/had breast cancer, with a double mastectomy, chemo and so on. Any way i just wanted to give you a "Huaha" Great Job, well done and all of that ;) I love what your doing and i will continue to follow little things here and there ;) Thanks again for the courage and strong words you wrote. It was hard being all alone when i went through mine, it's only been 6 months since my last chemo, so the worst is over, one last surgery and i am waiting patiently for, are you ready? "My Nipples" YAaaaaa. Good luck, may God be with you on your journey <3 Sherri Bentz

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    1. Sherri, I am so glad the planets aligned and we found each other!! Thank you so much for the nice words. It is so nice to always meet a fellow Chemo Survivor. I am glad your journey is winding down, it is a tough road that only another survivor fully gets. WooHoo six months! Your hair should be starting to grow back by this point?? It will be fun to see what kind of chemo hair you get (darker, curlier, thinner, thicker)! I look forward to a cyber toast to those new Nipples when they arrive. :o Once again, THANK YOU! Thank you for taking the time to write to me!!

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