Adoption Series Part 2: An Adoptee's Story

Today's post is another guest writer. The author is a dear friend of mine, Lori. Lori and I met back in college in the late 1980's as we both pursued degree's in Social Work. When I got this idea of bringing to light some adoption issues, I asked Lori if she would tell us her story. And she said yes!

Lori's Story:

I always knew I was adopted. I was cool with that. I never had any issues with it. However, as I got older, I became more curious about my background; particularly where my naturally curly hair came from. I realize this is a pretty silly concern, but having grown up in the 70’s and 80’s where straight feathered hair was the norm, I fought with and hated my hair with a passion. I really wanted to know where I got this mop!

I had the best parents a kid could ask for and I didn’t want to hurt their feelings so it took me a while to get the nerve to bring it up the idea of searching for my birth mom. But with the help from my Mom, who gave me my adoption papers, the search was on! It turned out to be frighteningly easy for me, and I located my birth mom in 1995. Not wanting to infringe on her privacy in case she didn’t want anything to do with me, I asked a co-worker to call her on my behalf. She was very excited to meet me, and we talked on the phone prior to meeting in person and my first question was to ask about my hair. Turns out my hair comes from her father, my biological grandfather, and most of my cousins have hair similar to mine. Thankfully I’ve learned how to style my hair, and of course there is a whole market of products now specifically designed to make my hair cooperative, if not beautiful on occasion.

Meeting my birth mom Sharon was a great experience for me and my Mom both I believe. My Mom has been supportive from the beginning even though it was probably only for my benefit. She has always been strong and awesome in that way. I’d like to believe though that the wonderful relationship that we all share is enjoyed and appreciated by all of us equally. I love that all of us get together to celebrate Mother’s Day, and attend our children’s’ events. My in-laws, my Mom, and my birth mom Sharon and her husband all get along great and it makes for warm family gatherings.

It certainly helped the situation that I had a wonderful upbringing and didn't feeling as though I was ‘missing’ something or longing to fill emptiness; I was primarily curious about my hair. The fact that it was so easy to locate her I’m sure helped a lot. I was placed for adoption in Kansas, which has open records. Some of the documents my (adoptive) Mom gave me had my birth moms’ last name on them. It was an unusual name that she had not changed when I was looking for her so she was easy to find.

I am really excited to see so many people now using Facebook to search for their biological relatives. I can only hope the positive reunions outweigh any negative experiences even though I know both will happen. During the early years of our reunion Sharon contacted my biological father who still, to this day does not want any contact with me. I view it as his loss as I never wanted anything more than medical information from him, and certainly never meant any harm.

The end result of our experience is now a published book. My birth mother, Sharon Fieker Cummins wrote a book about how our reunion has changed her life. It is titled I Choose This Day: Mournings and Miracles of Adoption. It tells of the transformation that occurred when I found her, and the roller coaster ride of emotions she experiences as a birth mother. It has been an interesting experience for me as well. A friend asked how I felt about being the topic of a book. I told her that my opinion is pretty simple, if someone finds comfort after reading about our experience, regardless of what their own experience might have been, it will have been worth it. I must admit that it is an awkward and unusual feeling to read about yourself and know that others will now be able to know such intimate details of your life, but at the same time I am proud of Sharon for pursuing this dream that I am simply happy to support her efforts to share our story.

My Weekend Project: A PVC Camping Lamp Post and Flag Holder

I have seen a few of these around campsites and I knew I would like to have one. The only problem that I had is The Husband. He already thinks we drag too much stuff with us when we go camping and if I had told him my desire to have a PVC Camping Light Pole he would have shut it down quickly! So, that leaves a girl with only one choice: Figure out how to do it by herself. I did some internet searching and found a few road maps on RV forums. They seemed easy enough! I visited the local hardware store for the supplies: An exterior post lantern light 2 inch PVC pipe (I used 5 feet but had to purchase a 10 foot piece) A 3 inch toilet flange A 3 inch to 2 inch Reducer PVC Glue A 12 foot electric cord kit 2 - 3/4 inch PVC Caps I also used a few supplies we already had on hand: White Spray Paint 3 1/2 foot - 3/4 inch PVC Pipe Drill Bits (1 inch and 1/2 inch) Tent Stakes The first step was preparing the lantern light. I could only find black i

Liver Cheese: A Family Tradition

Today is an anniversary date. One of those dates you wish you did not have to remember but there is no way you can forget. Fifteen years ago today,two days after his birthday, my father died of lung cancer. He was a lifelong smoker and his cancer was aggressive. His battle was short. He fought for six short months after his diagnosis. He knew the chemo was not working and that his time was limited. When he came to this realization he became the best dad in the world. In the days before my father's passing, my family shared some memorable moments. One of those moments centers around the deli meat: Liver Cheese.I would not be surprised if you have never heard of it, or even never tasted it. But I was raised on it as it was one of my Dad's favorite things. What is it? Well, it is a German food that is actually called Leberkase. It is bacon, corned beef, pork, and onion that is ground together and baked. It comes with a

Tonsillectomy (Warning Photos!)

The Short Chic came down with a pretty nasty case of strep throat back in April. So, when The Boy started complaining about his throat hurting about 12 days later, I was pretty confident that he had inherited his sister's strep. Instead, The Boy was diagnosed with a peritonsillar abscess growing on his right tonsil. We had to immediately see an ENT Physician who took a needle and drained the abscess. He removed about 5.5 cc of puss from The Boys throat.and then told us that once you have a peritonsillar abscess you were high risk to keep getting them. The Boy's tonsils were now compromised and needed to be removed. We were told to plan for a two week recovery so we worked a surgery into our summer plans. Between family vacations, summer sports, and the beginning of school The Boy had his second surgery. A tonsillectomy. Pre-surgery prepping went well. It must be nice to be young and have healthy veins for an IV! The Boy had lots of pre-surgery visitors. My

It's My Life

Search This Blog