Thursday, January 29, 2015

Life Lesson #1: Harboring Resentment

Sometimes when I drive, I turn the radio off, place the cell phone in the backseat, and just think. On these moments, I feel like I am able to get in touch with some of the lessons I have learned along the way. These are things I want to say to my children. But, of course, I am their mom and they would never actually listen to me even if I tried to share this knowledge. So, my only hope is that if I put word to blog that one day when they realize I am not a crazy two-headed martian from another planet they might actually read my post and learn some thing from me.  So, welcome to my new series: Life Lessons. 

Harboring Resentment

In regards to this topic, I think there are two different types of people in this world. Those who harbor resentment and those who don't harbor it.

The first group are those that got handed a bad hand at cards. They had a bad break and life did not go their way. The second group, well, they have also been handed a bad hand, have had their share of bad breaks, and life is not always fair or nice to them.  I mean, isn't that life?   

So, if both groups of people experience the negatives in life why do they differ? 

 The first group, those who harbor resentment, come to view the world as a negative place. They just know the other shoe is going to drop and when it does they add this new hurt to a long list of hurts as reasons why the world is not a good place and they are victims of life. 

We have already established that the second group, like the first, experiences hardships. But despite these hardships they still view the world to be filled with more good than bad.  They do not keep a list and add up their wrongs. Instead they confront the experience and move on. 

Life is not always going to be easy for us. You will not always get your way. Some things may get taken from you. You will lose, we can not win all the time. You will stumble and at times you will fall.

It is absolutely okay to grieve these times.  Losses are hard and grieving is a natural process. I encourage you to take care of business. Don't rush into new things, it tends to only complicate things. Linger if you need to but do not establish a permanent residence.  

Bitterness and resentment are huge burdens to carry. They weigh a ton and can consume a person. They can alter a persons perspective and change their personality. They can prevent you from moving forward and even learning other life lessons that may come with a bigger and better payout.  

There are many ways to deal with feels of resentment. You can journal. Talk to friends. Practice self care. Small steps will lead you in a new direction and before you realize it you will be in a different place. 

For the past many months my job has been in a change process. As many of you know change is hard. The unknown is very difficult. I have felt insecure and lost for many months. This past week I was on one of my drives with the radio off and the cell phone out of reach when I realized how easy it would have been for me to focus on all that had changed and all that was different. How easy it would be to become resentful. How easy it would be for me to be bitter and miss new opportunities that I could actually see.

I know I have lessons to learn and I honestly believe that as a result of being open to them I am going to come out stronger, wiser, and overall better than before. I encourage you to be open to learning and growing. We were not put on this world to become resentful and bitter. I believe we were put here to flourish. 

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