Six years ago I started this blog. Six years ago I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma and I could not comprehend the fact that I had cancer. Six years ago when I left the doctors office with the news that I had cancer, I could not even say the word without crying. Instinctively, I started blogging. I think I was trying to grapple with the idea that I could be sick. This little blog helped me process through my illness and continues to be a source of comfort to me.
I don't get a lot of traffic here any more, mostly because I changed my URL and lost a lot of folks. Hardly anyone comments on my post. Most day's I am not even sure if anyone, other than my dutiful husband and son, read my post. I do this mostly as an outlet for me. Blogging has always helped me process through my thoughts and become more focused or even centered.
I use to post several times a week. I hardly post once a week now. At times I have thought about shutting it down but somehow I am connected here. It is a reminder of where I have come in the past six years. Six years ago, I was a mother with an expiration date. Without medical intervention I would not be here today. That is a hard truth and is part of my past. This blog connects me to that. As I stay connected to that, I strive to be a better person each day.
Over the past six years, I have acknowledge some things in my life that need to change. Some of them I have not been ready to change. I made a decision over the summer that now was the time to take on one of my biggest projects. No more Diet Soda. I gave up drinking non-diet soda years ago (was I maybe 15 years old) when my best friend was diagnosed with juvenile diabetes. NutraSweet was new to the scene and it answered her prayers and I jumped in with full support!
I have given up a few things in my life but my successes have been minor. Yes I stopped drinking regular soda but added diet soda. I also gave up chewing gum in 1993. I also stopped drinking diet soda during the first trimester of each of my pregnancies as well as during my chemotherapy months. I stopped during those times because diet soda no longer tasted good. I havenever given up cold turkey at the height of my enjoyment (summertime and Dirty Diet Cokes).
I am happy to report that I am one month free of all diet soda and soda. There have been some rocky times and I wish I could say that I felt those were over. Just yesterday I had to fight off the fact that we had a diet soda in the fridge and it would be okay if I drank just one. On my way to work a few days ago I listened to a pre-recorded interview with Pat O'Brien. He was talking about overcoming his addiction and how he has to make the decision to be substance free every single day. I know that is true for me.
So, there you have it. Six years have gone by and I am cancer free. One month has passed and I am diet soda free.
In case you were wondering, I spent my sixth anniversary with my family and some awesome friends. We completed a five mile float down the Black River in Lesterville, MO. It was a relaxing day spent in cool, crisp, crystal clear water. The weather was perfect. It was a very relaxing way to spend such an anniversary!