Thursday, January 29, 2015

Life Lesson #1: Harboring Resentment

Sometimes when I drive, I turn the radio off, place the cell phone in the backseat, and just think. On these moments, I feel like I am able to get in touch with some of the lessons I have learned along the way. These are things I want to say to my children. But, of course, I am their mom and they would never actually listen to me even if I tried to share this knowledge. So, my only hope is that if I put word to blog that one day when they realize I am not a crazy two-headed martian from another planet they might actually read my post and learn some thing from me.  So, welcome to my new series: Life Lessons. 


Harboring Resentment

In regards to this topic, I think there are two different types of people in this world. Those who harbor resentment and those who don't harbor it.

The first group are those that got handed a bad hand at cards. They had a bad break and life did not go their way. The second group, well, they have also been handed a bad hand, have had their share of bad breaks, and life is not always fair or nice to them.  I mean, isn't that life?   

So, if both groups of people experience the negatives in life why do they differ? 

 The first group, those who harbor resentment, come to view the world as a negative place. They just know the other shoe is going to drop and when it does they add this new hurt to a long list of hurts as reasons why the world is not a good place and they are victims of life. 

We have already established that the second group, like the first, experiences hardships. But despite these hardships they still view the world to be filled with more good than bad.  They do not keep a list and add up their wrongs. Instead they confront the experience and move on. 

Life is not always going to be easy for us. You will not always get your way. Some things may get taken from you. You will lose, we can not win all the time. You will stumble and at times you will fall.

It is absolutely okay to grieve these times.  Losses are hard and grieving is a natural process. I encourage you to take care of business. Don't rush into new things, it tends to only complicate things. Linger if you need to but do not establish a permanent residence.  

Bitterness and resentment are huge burdens to carry. They weigh a ton and can consume a person. They can alter a persons perspective and change their personality. They can prevent you from moving forward and even learning other life lessons that may come with a bigger and better payout.  

There are many ways to deal with feels of resentment. You can journal. Talk to friends. Practice self care. Small steps will lead you in a new direction and before you realize it you will be in a different place. 

For the past many months my job has been in a change process. As many of you know change is hard. The unknown is very difficult. I have felt insecure and lost for many months. This past week I was on one of my drives with the radio off and the cell phone out of reach when I realized how easy it would have been for me to focus on all that had changed and all that was different. How easy it would be to become resentful. How easy it would be for me to be bitter and miss new opportunities that I could actually see.

I know I have lessons to learn and I honestly believe that as a result of being open to them I am going to come out stronger, wiser, and overall better than before. I encourage you to be open to learning and growing. We were not put on this world to become resentful and bitter. I believe we were put here to flourish. 


Sunday, January 25, 2015

Who Loves You?

When my son was little we played a bedtime game. I called it "Who loves you?"

To help The Boy unwind and transition from play to sleep I would ask him, "Who loves you?"

He would start by naming the most obvious:

"You"

"Daddy"

"Grandma"

"Uncle Robert

"Aunt Tracy"


He would move through all of our family members and friends. Even our pets.  When we reached the end of his list he would roll on his side and fall fast asleep.


This weekend my little boy, who by the way towers over me, turned 18 years old.

Many of those who love him gathered together this weekend to celebrate with him. He chose to eat lunch at the restaurant were he works. Afterwards we came back home and celebrated with an ice cream cake from Cold Stone Creamery. (Have you had one of their ice cream cakes? They are beyond amazing!)


The Boy did not wait for me to cut the cake. He started eating it before I could even get a photo.


Silly boy has not learned it is hard to take a photo with a huge chunk of cookie dough in his mouth!

Afterwards, we went to see an Oscar Nominated movie (American Sniper, but that is a whole different post).

I have to say I was pretty brave and strong the entire day. I only cried a few (dozen) times. And at a few minutes before midnight one of the most amazing things happened: This boy, who was about to turn 18, who towers above me, allowed me to put my arms around him and snuggle with him just like he did when he was little and we played "Who loves you."


 No matter how old you get it is nice to have those who love you nearby.

Friday, January 9, 2015

2015 Word of the Year: Accountability


Happy New Year Everyone!

I don't know about you but for me every year since my big fight with Cancer has been a good one. I can't complain about how awful the year was. I am thankful to have experienced it. 

With each new year, I normally make resolutions. Last year I said I was going to bike 500 miles and take a photo a day. The photo lasted about two weeks until I decided my life was too boring to take a daily photo. I did start biking. I ended up biking roughly half of my goal. I did great until I nearly got heat stroke on one leg of the Katy Trail

                                     

My number one go-to resolution over the years has been to eat healthy, lose weight, become physically active, and even track my food intake.   Some years I have been more successful than others. One year The Husband and I actually made it three months before we fell apart.

SNAP! (a blog that I follow) has set about a new years challenge. They are challenging people to select one word to serve as your inspiration and goal for the new year.  Instead of an actual resolution that may fall away, the idea is that the one word will serve as a constant inspiration for the entire year. 

I have pondered my word for a few days now....(nine days to be exact!).... and I think I have found one that fits me at this moment. 


                                

My word is Accountability.

I plan to be accountable to all aspects of my life, not just my work life. I want to be accountable to my husband and children. To my extended family. To my friends. to my bank accounts. I want to become accountable to myself. 

I am super excited for 2015. I feel like I have a direction.

What about you? Do you have a word?